Lost feeling

I've had a lost feeling the last several weeks. Things in both work life and home life seem to be up in the air. I can't get a grip on anything. I feel out of control and I don't like this feeling.

My work - we lost a major account. It just happened to be my account, no fault of my own, the money grubbers in accounting wanted more money so they made demands on the client. He found someone else to do the work. Stupid a.. accounting department. I don't know why they had to stick they noses in were it didn't belong. So now, they don't know what they are going to do with me. I could become the flunky to two people in our department and I don't know if I want that or not. I don't mind the work but it is not what I planned to do with my life. Yeah, I'm 44 years old and don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Home life - we were suppose to talk about D/S vs. DD relationship tonight but that didn't happen. He was busy trying to get his computer set up for a large work project this week. I know that has to be done but I really needed to talk with him. We did manage to squeeze in 1 1/2 hours of yoga which did us both good. We haven't gone in several months. I think it helps keep me centered. Too think we use to go at least twice a week and then I would do it at home at least that many times. Plus mediation, which I haven't done in six months or more. The treadmill got dug out of its corner over the weekend so I'm going to get my butt back on it this week. It still doesn't solve the communication problem we are having but I'll try again tomorrow to talk with him. I just hope he at least read from some of the links I sent him but I don't think he did, thus the avoiding of the subject tonight.